Single mom uses PTO days for when her child's daycare is closed, boss calls her out for her request: 'Every month, there's at least one of my 5 coworkers that have taken a vacation'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 1, 2026 10:00 PM EST

You should be able to use your time off however you want to use it.

The thing about PTO is that you get to use it however you want to. That's part of the deal. If you want to use it to sit on your couch doing nothing, then that's your business. If you want to use it to take a trip halfway across the world to Australia and sit on the beach all day, then that's your prerogative. You don't have to give a reason for taking it, and you don't have to explain yourself. All you have to do is make sure that your work is going to be accounted for while you're gone, and that you leave your teammates to be set up for success. But other than that, it's called paid time off for a reason. You get to use it to serve your interests and your life. But some fields don't respect that philosophy. 

They want to stick their nose in your business and make sure they're getting every last inch of work out of you that they can. They want to control how you spend your time, even when you're not there. And some people have different priorities than others. They might understand if you took time off to go on vacation, but they might not understand that you need to take off when your child needs something from you. When you're a parent, those priorities always come first. You would do anything you needed to do to help them.

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  • A young mother looks stressed with her baby in her arm at her desk
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  •  That's what this mom was doing when she laid out her plan for time off over the course of the year. Her daycare let her know ahead of time what days it would be closed so she could plan around it. So she did the responsible thing and let her employer know the days she would need off. But instead of meeting her with kindness and understanding, the employer met her with confusion and suspicion. The way they saw it. She wasn't using her paid time off appropriately. The way she saw it. She was just doing what she needed to do as a single parent. Read on to see what happened in the story and see what you think about it.

  • Work is frustrated that I requested PTO for days that my daughters daycare is closed.

    I work at a bank. I get my full year of pto at the beginning of the year. It totals to about 200 hours a year. I am a single mom to a toddler, so when daycare is closed I cannot make it in. The daycare sent the list of days that they are closed for the year, and there were 3 days that they were closed that the bank was not. The rest were bank holidays. I requested them off right away, months in advance, some almost a year in advance.
    via u/Admirable-Two-9431
  • Well, I got a message today that I need to find a babysitter for those days because I cannot just take off every time daycare is closed. I'm extremely frustrated. I am the only single parent at the branch. Everyone else either doesn't have children or they are older than my child. My other coworkers request week
    via u/Admirable-Two-9431
  • vacations 2 weeks in advance that get approved to go out of the country or to party or whatever they are doing. Every month, there's at least one of my 5 coworkers that have taken a vacation. I give them months in advance to be prepared for the fact that I will not be there for one day during the week and it's
    via u/Admirable-Two-9431
  • an issue. I'm frustrated. I'm barely making it as it is since daycare alone is $900 a month. I barely have $200 leftover every month for gas and groceries. I can't fork out another $100 for a babysitter for the times that I don't have childcare. I thought that the point of having PTO was to be able to use it if you can't make it in to work.
    via u/Admirable-Two-9431
  • I'm also not angry at my coworkers for taking vacations. They have the PTO and the company I work for is awesome and I love it. I can't see myself working for any other company. They truly are awesome and I love my coworkers and going to work everyday. This is just a small frustration I have and I just needed to rant about it.
    via u/Admirable-Two-9431

  • Commenters gave her their opinions and strategies.

    Lovebeingadad... Ask if you can bring your toddler to work. Kidding, you are using PTO exactly as intended.
    via u/Lovebeingadad54321
  • A young mother looks displeased at her computer
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • HouStoned42 If that came from your manager, ask them (or HR) what is and isn't authorized uses of PTO per company policy. You may have a petty Manager but HR is looking to protect the company and they'll shut that shit down if they know what's best. If it was a coworker who has no authority over approvals, just ignore them
    via u/HouStoned42
  • Beneficialsensai With enough notice and the time available they cant dictate what you take your days for, unless some Karen complained because she dont like people being happy.
    via u/Beneficialsensai
  • teriyaki_donut I cannot just take off every time daycare is closed. If you have enough PTO, why the hell not? Also, you get a good amount of PTO. I get 120 hours/year and it was 80 until I had worked here for 5 years.
    via u/teriyaki_donut
  • WholeAd2742 PTO is for personal time off. You're using it as intended
    via u/WholeAd2742
  • howie-chetem Bosses love to tout your PTO as a benefit of employment, but always have a problem when you try to take it. It seems it's just never a good time for you to use it.
    via u/howie-chetem
  • Your PTO is part of your pay. Use it how you need to. There will literally never be a "good time" from your boss' perspective
    via u/howie-chetem
  • CatchMelf YouC... Stop giving them reasons if they're gonna hold them against you. "Personal" is acceptable. When questioned before I've responded with "Communication is a
    via u/CatchMelfYouCan09
  • valuable skill that mngmnt should encourage and foster amongst team members and staff. However when you use my skills against me then I dont see them as a benefit to my professional qualities and will no longer make them a usable skill for my mngnnt to access.
    via u/CatchMelfYouCan09
  • Notifying you of a temporary change in my availability is the extent of my requirements. It's not a request; I'm unavailable on - dates- and won't be here."
    via u/CatchMelfYouCan09
  • Northstar04 If your manager is in a twist about this, go to HR
    via u/Northstar04
  • Sassycha This is insane by your company they cannot dictate how you choose to use your paid time off. A day here and there sounds completely normal and you sound organised with it.
    via u/Sassycha
  • Get_Back_Loret... Sadly, when you have a small bank staff, you don't have as much flexibility. I would image you should be able to use your PTO without say what's it for. That might be a HR violation. of privacy. The less work or HR knows about your personal life the better.
    via u/Get_Back_Loretta_USA
  • If you're going to share any personal info, tell them your daughter home sick. Use a sick day vs. a PTO. Then use your sick days for days off later. HR is breaking rules. They are white lying and withholding info to protect #1 all the time.
    via u/Get_Back_Loretta_USA
  • Rabbit-Lost Some employers just suck. Is this a community or local bank? They can be the worst. If it's a major bank (and I cannot believe I am about to say this, since I am not a fan of HR), but consider a call to HR under the cover of getting clarity.
    via u/Rabbit-Lost
  • on the policy. Then you can use that with local management to press the issue. If it's not a major bank, my sympathies for this BS. I was raised by a single mom, so I understand, at least a little, the struggle.
    via u/Rabbit-Lost
  • Tiny_Boat_7983 3 days shouldn't be an issue. I'm sorry. My daycare takes a week off during the summer, a week at thanksgiving and 2 weeks at Christmas. All paid. then they try and take inclement weather days... it's an at home daycare, so I've never understood this.
    via u/Tiny_Boat_7983
  • chamomilesmile You shouldn't state the reason for PTO. Unless it's a black out period you are entitled to book it with the appropriate notice. Exceptions will be if someone with seniority already has the time off and no other leaves can be accomodated
    via u/chamomilesmile
  • mikemojc Ask for full weeks of that include just those three days, that will total 120 of your 200 hours. After approval (say a month before each wek long block) cancel the 4 days that you dont really need off. Same result, but now your request looks like everyone else's
    via u/mikemojc
  • It really doesnt matter WHY you are requesting the time off, just that the request be made far enough ahead of time that manager's can plan, and that there aren't so many people off that the business cant function. Denial for this reason sounds kinda discriminatory. More research would need to happen to see if it's legally actionable discrimination
    via u/mikemojc
  • If they're still jerks about it, say no more, but call in sick or with a sick baby those specific days.
    via u/mikemojc

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boss antiwork workplace-stories toxic-workplace bosses work coworkers working PTO workplace bad bosses
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